Love pink? Of course you love pink! So your nails gotta be pink too.

1. Do you love pink so much you happen to have five different shades AND don’t need to study for the LSATs? Try this pink gradient!

2. Want a classy amount of shimmer to match your pink sequin dress? Try this!

3. Want to walk your dog and be matching with its silver glitter leash? Try this elegant design:

​4. Or if you love pink AND glitter and you need to let the whole world know:

(written by Miyu Tada)

1. We love the color pink!

2. We have the prettiest sisters ever!

3. We are so supportive of each other, like if one of us gets engaged or wants to go to law school or something.

7. We study hard and party harder!

8. We definitely have the most fun!!!

(written by Gillian Lelchuk)

by Chutney Windham
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Hey guys, welcome to my brand new original foodie blog, Chutney with Chutney. Today I’m gonna be sharing my top five favorite recipes for chutney that you can try at home! Everything is suuuuuper easy to make. In case you didn’t know, a chutney is basically a salsa, or a sauce make of chopped-up ingredients that you put on top of other foods. Good thing my dad didn’t name me Salsa, huh! Ha ha ha. 
Ha ha. 
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Okay, let’s get started!!

5. Simple Mango Chutney
Ingredients:
Two ripe mangoes
½ cup of canned peaches in syrup
A handful of fresh parsley
Half a small red onion

To Make: First peel the mangoes with an extra sharp knife. Then chop the fruits, onion, and parsley on a large cutting board until there are no pieces any bigger than a small blueberry. Store your mango chutney in the fridge—or you can put it in the patented fresh-foods icebox your stepmom got for your dad last Christmas. God, what a waste of cash. Like my dad would ever eat a fresh food. No way.

4. Fresh Tomato Chutney
Ingredients:
One large beefsteak tomato
One clove of garlic, crushed
Cilantro
Half a small red onion

To Make: This one is super easy—simply dice all the ingredients and drain the tomato juice off the cutting board before storing in an airtight container. Occasionally you may have to go back in and drain more tomato juice. Those tomatoes sure do have a lot of red juice in them. They sure bleed out a lot of juice. They sure bleed a lot, those tomatoes.

3. Lemon-Cayenne Chutney
Ingredients:
15 lemons
One cup of cayenne pepper
Half a small red onion

To Make: Now this one is a little unusual, but my stepmom swears by it. Apparently the key to a fast metabolism is lots of cleansing, and these three ingredients have super cleansing properties. Cut up your lemons into small wedges, stir in the chopped red onion, sprinkle cayenne over them, and wait for the lemon juice to soak up the spice. This is my only drinkable chutney—my stepmom Brooke puts a big scoop into her water bottle every morning after her three-hour workout. Or at least she used to, before she went to jail. Now I think she just has to drink plain water every day. What a tragedy. 

2. Low-Cal Veggie Chutney
Ingredients:
One small zucchini, chopped
One large carrot, chopped
Three medium-sized radishes, chopped
Half a small red onion

To Make: This one is also super easy. Simply roast all the ingredients under high heat for 15-20 minutes in the oven. Normally I would use some olive oil and salt to make this actually taste good, but I’m giving you the low-cal version so you’ll just have to deal with most of the veggies sticking to the pan. This is the chutney my stepmom Brooke would always serve when her old Delta Nu sorority sisters would come over for brunch. Those ladies are crazy about staying thin. But now that Brooke is in prison for killing my dad, they don’t come over any more. I wouldn’t be surprised if they went to prison with her, actually—those women are crazy-loyal to their own.

1. Courtroom Chutney
Ingredients:
One justice of the peace
One amazing perm
One classy outfit, but not too flashy
Half a small red onion
 
To Make: First, get your perm done real nice—you want to look good. Then take a quick shower so you don’t smell funky in the courtroom. Put on the classy outfit and check yourself in the mirror to make sure you look great. Then use the red onion to get some tears in your eyes, and strut on down to the courtroom to tell the justice exactly what happened on the day of your father’s gruesome murder. This Chutney will take a little longer to prepare than the others—in fact, it probably won’t be ready until April 1st!!!!!! 

​(written by Natalie Wallington)