Hi Sisters!! Odds are if you’re already sporting our classic pink shade and flawless letters, then your hair and clothes are probably perfection. Unfortunately, it has come to my attention that some of the ladies living in our hallowed Delta Nu halls are NOT taking care of their nails!
Girls, HOW can we expect our Greek brothers to respect and revere us if we’ve got nail beds that look like shag carpeting?? This is unacceptable, and I’ve taken it upon myself to educate all sisters on proper cuticle care.
1. Cuticle oil
O.M.G you guys, I swear this stuff is like magic potion. Simply apply a few drops of oil to your nails and let it soak in. It’ll totally soften up your cuticles and nobody will be able to tell you were scraping your hands against the walls at the frat houses all night!!
2. Push 'em back
Once you’ve softened them all up, it’s time to push that pesky skin back. Don’t even think about cutting your cuticles, ladies! Are we barbarians? Are we clueless seventh grade girls? Are we members of a low-tier sorority?? No! As all classy women do, invest in a cuticle pusher and gently ease your cuticles off your nails.
With all THAT hard work out of the way, reward yourself with a little TLC and moisturize your hands. Seriously, moisturize. No boy wants to date a girl with rough man-hands, and I’ll be damned if I’m going to let Delta Nu earn that reputation. I’m LOOKING at you, Debbie. I’m looking at you and your sandpaper gorilla hands. The last guy you hooked up with said you felt like a trucker when he closed his eyes. Get a grip, Debbie, you’re embarrassing your sisters.
YAY! Snaps for you, Delta Nu sis! You made it! For the final step, be sure to put on a fresh coat of beautiful pink polish. This will complete the look and make you appear to ALWAYS have your life together, even when you’re walking back to the house at 7am on a Sunday in 6-inch heels! SNAPS!!
(written by Octavia Fitzmaurice)